Bend the Law, Shred the Constitution Just a Little Bit! [TRANSCRIPT]

Today’s transcript is an excerpt from director Edward Zwick’s 1998 The Siege film. In this scene, FBI Special Agent in Charge Anthony Hubbard is escorted by Major General William Devereaux into a tiled shower room located within a football field stadium whose playing field has been converted into a concentration camp filled with men of Arabic/Middle-Eastern/Persian ancestry ever since martial law was declared in Brooklyn; upon entering the shower room, Agent Hubbard sees his terrorism suspect, Tariq Husseini, strapped down naked in a folding metal chair being interrogated by CIA agent Sharon Bridger. Any mistakes in transcription are solely that of this humble blogger.

 

Denzel Washington as Agent Hubbard in The Siege (1998); photo courtesy of DVDBeaver.com

 

William Devereaux: How long have you been at it?

Sharon Bridger: Not long enough, apparently.

Devereaux: How much longer, do you think, before he gives up the other cells?

Anthony Hubbard: He can’t give up the other cells if he doesn’t know where they are.

Devereaux: He knows.

Hubbard: No, he doesn’t – you said it yourself, Sharon, didn’t you? At the strategy meeting (the briefing), that one cell doesn’t know where the other one is, right?

Devereaux: How long before he breaks, Sharon?

Bridger: Well, at this rate, too long. The theater was hit 9 hours after we took down the first cell.

Devereaux: So, what other models do we have? Shaking? What about it, Sharon?

Bridger: Won’t work.

Devereaux: Works for the Israelis.

Bridger: Only in conjunction with sleep deprivation. It takes at least 36 hours.

Devereaux: We don’t have 36 hours. Electric shock?

Bridger: The neurotransmitters just shut down.

Devereaux: Water?

Colonel Hardwick: Palestinian authorities produce good intel with water. Of course, there’s cutting. It’s extremely messy. Continue reading

Souriées at Starschmucks: A Dialogue Between Hackers & Bloggers

The following is a fictional dialogue between a hacker and a blogger regarding their particular functions. It is done in homage to Gustave de Molinari’s Souriées on the Rue Stain-Lazare in 1849. Please be sure to also read my earlier fiction, such as An Agorist Anecdote or Trapped! A First-Person Narrative on Unchosen Positive Obligations.

 

 

Weekday, mid-afternoon. A blogger is furiously typing away on her laptop when a cloaked figure hovers into the coffeehouse, orders a quadruple shot expresso, and then squints in her direction. He grabs his coffee when it is served by the barista, and then he heads to the very table where she’s sitting; she glances her eyes up momentarily from her laptop screen towards him as he approaches her.

 

Blogger: Haven’t seen you around in a while.

Hacker: I figured I’d stop by and say hello.

Blogger: Why? It’s not like the last time we talked it was exactly…pleasant.

Hacker: If I sit down, maybe we can resolve our differences?

Blogger: Whatever. I just want to finish this article really quickly first.

Hacker: Fine by me. I’ll wait. Continue reading

Statist! [VIDEO]

Today’s video is a parody composite about libertarian name-calling. It is a derived work from The Libertarienne’s How NOT to Talk to People About Liberty, Julie Borowski’s LIBERTARIAN INFIGHTING, and Seamus Coughlin’s paper bag impression of Stefan Molyneux. For those of you who might wonder why I would produce such a derivative work, then please read Why So Serious?

 

[Download MP4]

 

Stefan Molyneux Paper Bag Impression [VIDEO]

Today’s mirrored video is satire by Seamus Coughlin (original upload date unknown). His impression of Stefan Molyneux (former anarchist philosopher turned Trump humping political crusader; that is, he’s a controlled schizophrenic) is spot on accurate, particularly with regards to his idiosyncratic characteristics and “peaceful” parenting rhetoric. I particularly enjoyed how the glued-on eyes gradually fell off, at just the right times, leaving paper bag Molyneux rather blind, which I think is quite apropos. 🙂

 

 

[Download MP4]

 

An Agorist Anecdote

[Download a PDF of this article]

The following is anecdotal fanfic styled after Black Mirror, but instead it focuses on how such 21st century digital technology can be used to secure American liberty. I’ve tried to retain a Lovecraftian psychological/cosmic horror atmosphere, because I think the abolition of the State is inevitable, and it’s far past time for statists to feel dread at losing their emotional security blanket of legalized coercion. For more literature on agorism, feel free to read the An Agorist Manifesto in 95 Theses, #agora, and The Second Realm.

 

 

Rebecca woke up lazily in a warmly colored room. Late last night, she managed to book it using Airbnb, given that she didn’t want to raise unwarranted suspicion by renting a motel room during the early morning hours. Her sense of propriety extended only so far as she was discreet with her activities, nocturnal or otherwise. Continue reading

Claire Wolfe’s Hardyville Series, 2003 – 2007

Hardyville began in 2003 as a collection of twice-monthly stand-alone columns published in Backwoods Home magazine about a small, but very independent town somewhere west of the middle of nowhere. On October 1, 2006, the column went to a weekly schedule as Claire Wolfe began writing multi-part plotted Hardyville adventures. The final adventure ended on September 17, 2007 (dates follow a yy/mm/dd format).

 

Continue reading

Trapped! A First-Person Narrative on Unchosen Positive Obligations

[Download a PDF of this article]

The following is a fictional narrative based on real events when out-of-town relatives came by for a visit. Given that I’ve been reading Lovecraftian psychological/cosmic horror lately, I figured I’d fictionalize this type of experience. Please be sure to also read “Limited” Carjacking: A Simile and The President’s Tailored Suit.

 

trapped

 

I am here, and nowhere else. Condemned to a fate dictated by circumstance, I find myself at the utter mercy of arbitrary convention. My lover’s guilt ridden conscience serves at the behest of hierarchy and tradition, yet I am taken along for the ride due to my close proximity and affectionate devotion to her. Continue reading

ARMY “DOCUMENT” EXPOSES MARITAL LAW & DIVORCE COURT CONTAINMENT!!!

Today’s “document” REVEALS that something vaguely sinister is going down next month, which might effect the outcome of the GENERAL ELECTION!!! My “source” IMPLIED that this New Standing Order #1 was really just 1 out of 5, but he wasn’t able to secure it before he was captured by the Pentagon’s Super-Ninja-Robot-Zombie-Nazis! Much like what Diane Holthaus and Daniel Jackson have EXPOSED thus far, it is now time TO BE AFRAID, VERY AFRAID!!! Don’t believe naysayers like Cope Reynolds for being skeptical, because the “truth” is that THE SKY IS ALWAYS FALLING!!!

Click the image below to read this astounding DOCUMENT, which you must believe to be true, because if you don’t accept this PABLUM, then you’re no AMERICAN PATRIOT!!! Militiamen are advised to HIDE in their bunkers and WET THEMSLEVES IN FEAR at this time!!! YOU CAN BELIEVE ANYTHING THAT’S SAID IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS AND MULTIPLE EXPLANATION POINTS!!!

fake army document

Harrison Bergeron (2081)

Today’s short fictional story is by Kurt Vonnegut. It is a cautionary tale about the dangers of forced equality, a lesson which seems to be lost on androgynous supermodel “Rain Dove” Dubiliewski. For a cinematic short film adaptation that your “social justice” warrior opponents can watch, be sure to have them check out 2081.

 

 

THE YEAR WAS 2081, and everybody was finally equal. They weren’t only equal before God and the law. They were equal every which way. Nobody was smarter than anybody else. Nobody was better looking than anybody else. Nobody was stronger or quicker than anybody else. All this equality was due to the 211th, 212th, and 213th Amendments to the Constitution, and to the unceasing vigilance of agents of the United States Handicapper General. Continue reading

Beautiful, Unethical, Dangerous [TRANSCRIPT]

Today’s transcript is an excerpt from director Christopher Nolan’s 2008 The Dark Knight film. In this scene, Batman solicits the assistance of Lucius Fox in finding the Joker; to do this, Batman constructs a digital panopticon. Any mistakes in transcription are solely that of this humble blogger.

 

 

Batman: Beautiful, isn’t it?

Lucius Fox: Beautiful, unethical, dangerous. You’ve turned every cell phone in Gotham into a microphone. Continue reading